"Jesus wept" (John 11:35).
Trusting in God as we face suffering does not mean we cannot grieve. It does not mean that we must just “buck up and deal with it.” We don’t find this kind of stoicism anywhere in the Scriptures, and we should not try to make it a part of our lives. Instead, we find David grieving over the death of his son, Jeremiah pouring out his heart over the sins of Israel, and our Savior weeping at the grave of Lazarus. If such men were not ashamed to show their grief, should we not have the freedom to do the same?
The shortest verse in the English Bible is “Jesus wept.” Given Jesus’ understanding of life after death, of the glories of the resurrection, how could He cry at Lazarus’ tomb? Why didn’t He just shrug his shoulders and say, “Well, he’s gone to a better place so there really isn’t anything to get upset about”? Often, this is just the kind of attitude we find among Christians. They totally miss the point made in Romans 12:15, that we are supposed to weep with those who weep.
While it is true that a person who dies in Christ has gone to a better life, we still grieve over the loss. God has not placed us in this world to be isolated from one another. We have relationships—relationships in which we are inextricably and intimately tied. Jesus had just such a close relationship with Lazarus. The closer we are to someone, the more intense the relationship. Death rips that relationship apart and leaves us to cope with the loss. The process of grieving helps us deal with that separation, and the person who grieves needs time to heal from his loss as he prepares to face life in light of that loss.
When someone is going through that process, it is difficult to offer comfort. But God has promised that He will comfort His people as they grieve. He doesn’t assume grief is a lack of trust in Him, but that it is a natural response to the devastating results of sin. While anger toward God is unacceptable, sincere grief over one’s loss is not only acceptable but natural. Whenever you find yourself weeping as Jesus did, do not suppress your emotions, but allow yourself to grieve and to find comfort in God who gives you peace and fills the emptiness in your heart.
While you are supposed to grieve, you are not to remain in a state of mourning. Like David, you must, at some point, brush away the tears and get on with your life. If you have been unable to find peace after grief, talk to your pastor about it.
